Dear Therapist: We Set a Deadline to Decide About Marriage, and We Still Don’t Know
It’s been almost two years; am I wasting my time?
It’s been almost two years; am I wasting my time?
After 30 years, I want to tell her the truth, but I don’t know how.
She hasn’t been a great parent to me, and I don’t want her repeating those patterns with my future kids.
I don’t want a relationship with her, but my parents want us to make up.
Do I have to invite him this year?
Seeing photos with his ex-wife and kids pushed me over the edge.
How do we explain the estrangement to our kids?
She’s making some unhealthy choices, and it’s hard to watch.
She seems to find fault with everything I do.
I have felt for many years that she has kept me at arm’s length, and it seems to have worsened recently.
I’ve told him that I don’t want to talk to him, but he won’t leave me alone.
I feel like I am stuck in a fight I don’t want to have.
I feel betrayed and angry that he kept this from me for so many years.
I don’t want to burden her when she’s going through such a difficult time, but I need to talk to her about my grief.
Being truly supportive of someone who is in pain requires strength, patience, self-knowledge, and discipline, “Dear Therapist” writes.
Tough conversations provide opportunities for pain and conflict, but also for growth and healing, “Dear Therapist” writes.
Loss often feels utterly isolating, but seeking out connection and support can help you find a way forward, “Dear Therapist” writes.
Parent-child relationships are constantly evolving, and as children grow, “Dear Therapist” writes, parents have to recalibrate what their role is.
In some cases, “Dear Therapist” columns help us understand a situation from another person’s point of view; in others, they give us the language we need to name a situation.
Moving forward doesn’t mean leaving the past behind—it means figuring out how to make sense of it in the present.
Talking honestly and openly won’t necessarily save a troubled relationship, but doing so can clarify whether one can and should be saved.
Change can bring on a mixture of feelings; compassion is how you navigate them.
I was not there for his last breaths. I was not there for his last words. I’m trying to combat my guilt.
Every holiday season, my siblings and I divide our time between them.
I know I sound naive, but this wasn’t like a “normal” affair.
They’re both angry at me, and I want to mend our relationship.
How can I be open and honest with him when he doesn’t know who I am?
They’re many years old, but they’ve totally upended my world.
They are judging me for not being a good mom, for not having a job, and for not losing my pregnancy weight fast enough.
I’m getting married, and I want her to be a part of my life.
I am incredibly worried that he’s not on the same page as me about moving our relationship forward.
She told me she would never want a child like my daughter.
Any time I want to talk with my daughter about an issue between us, she tells me she doesn’t have time and it’s not a priority for her.
He seems to think that because I don’t completely hate my ex, I must still love him.
I have extended a standing invitation to her friends to visit for playdates or sleepovers, but none has ever come.
I feel incredibly guilty and am worried that if we come clean, we will lose the respect of our children and become pariahs in our community.
I’ve wanted to address this with her for a while now, but I’m afraid she’ll scold me.
I can’t stop thinking about how much he suffered—and my own inability to save him.
I’ve known that my parents haven’t gotten along. They are polar opposites.
I can’t help but think he’s the cause of the growing rift with my relatives.
I do not want to lose her and I miss her terribly, but I believe I had no other choice.
My entire nuclear family is incredibly angry with me.
I’m so tired of people seeing only her bad traits.
I don’t know that I would ever be able to forgive him for taking this away from me.
She’s been having anxiety ever since the pandemic began.
And now my husband wants to move halfway across the country for his job.
I don’t know how to process what I’m going through.
I have no interest in becoming one big happy family.
I don’t think a day has gone by that she hasn’t cried.
He’s been cheated on before, and he gets very anxious that I will want to be with someone else.
I don’t think she truly understands the impact that seeing her only once or twice a year is having on us.
I’d like to meet her before she dies, but I’m worried he would see my fraternizing with her as a betrayal.
He told me he was going out for errands, but he was really meeting with her in a parking lot.
I’m trying to accept that the school I’m going to is where I am meant to be, but I feel like my accomplishments mean nothing now.
I don’t want to burden him with my feelings when he’s going through the exact same thing.
He’s being way too lax about things, and whenever we try to talk about it, we have a fight.
How can I balance her need for support with my own need for boundaries?
I used to daydream about spending more time with him, but now his habits are starting to get on my nerves.
I’m making sure that our kids exercise, have a schedule, spend time outside each day, and try to maintain as normal a life as possible. What more can I do?
My father died, there’s a pandemic, and I’m overcome by my feeling of loss.